Thursday, October 13, 2011

A Short Conversation re: Life Insurance Exam

"So, my blood pressure is 120 over 70, my pulse rate was 60 beats a minute, I'm an inch taller than I thought I was for like the last decade or so, and the results from the HIV test should be in before too long."

"Please keep me updated on that last thing. That is a fact that would interest me."


I don't have HIV.

(Anna- I can't comment on my own frakking blog, but I actually have no idea what happened. I just...didn't know how tall I was. I thought I knew, because I consider myself an intelligent person able to deal easily in simple facts. Except for that time when I didn't know how tall I was. I have no idea why the life insurance people even need to know my height.)

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Kelly made me do it

So Kelly gave me this which I'm wondering if maybe I gave it to myself since I'm pretty sure she's me but about 1000% less Southern and also with a cat. Except I would never give myself an award about being blissful because have you met me? I am currently worried about...everything. No, really, everything, from my mother's mental health to my fat dog's weight problem to whether or not I should walk or run today to the chances the space shuttle is going to land me to whether or not I am a sociopath. But - hurray! An AWARD! A VERY IMPORTANT AWARD!

Now I have to tell you 9 things about myself that you might not know...

1. I do not own an iPhone. I do own an iPod, but it was a gift and I mostly use my Zen nano because it has lasted about 4 years now and the average lifespan my husband gets out of iPods seems to be approximately 11-13 months. Which sucks.
1a. I kind of hate Apple. Probably because I feel pressured to like it, and it's really expensive and really not better, even though people will have a hissy in the comments about how it is too better, but that's only because they dropped a shitload of money on each separate component so they kind of have to do that.
1b. Seriously, I'm a PC and I have no problem with that (except for the part where I am ACTUALLY a PERSON and not a machine...)

2. I am having a mild bout with anxiety and obsessive thoughts which you can tell by the lack of punctuation and also I'm talking really fast and loud and a lot because the loop in my head is kind of loud...

3. I do not like for people to touch my feet. I have hated this since I was a baby. I don't know why. I also don't like things to go in my navel. Maybe that's not weird. But the reason for that is because when I was very small a friend told me that my belly button was actually OPEN at the back, and if you put stuff in there (even to clean it) you could KILL YOURSELF.

4. I used to be afraid of mirrors because a girl told me if you looked in one for too long you would get sucked in and you would suffocate. I was a very gullible child.

5. I'm still pretty gullible, but since I know this about myself I overcompensate by being overly suspicious in most cases.

6. I was adopted when I was 5 days old. My biological parents already had 6 other children. They were immigrants from Sicily. I was raised by Irish people. And SOMEHOW I am still not Catholic. And that's pretty much all I will tell you about my own personal religious/spiritual beliefs. I'm not Catholic.

7. I can sing all the words to Ice, Ice Baby and also We Didn't Start the Fire.

8. The willow tree in my backyard is enormous, and now I'm afraid it died in the heatwave because all the leaves fell off and it hasn't budded at all since then. This will make me sad because its really pretty and the picture window is arranged perfectly to be able to see through the willow curtain. Also, the woodpecker lives in this tree. I hate birds, but I kind of love this woodpecker.

9. I have been known to crush on fictional characters. Notably Trent from Daria, Gilbert from Anne of Green Gables, and Donnie Darko (not Jake Gyllenhaal...Donnie Darko).

Now I am going to cheat a little and say...tag you're it! Yes, you, back there in the shirt! And you over there with no pants! Tell me in the comments if you participate and I'll link you.