Monday, April 25, 2011

Indulge me and pretend you noticed I haven't been here, 'kay? 'Kay.

So I'm very busy running all over the state in a hard hat and steel toe boots totally bringing sexy back while ensuring the continued breathability of air in the state. I have restricted internet access for the first time in my working life, so I keep meaning to blog and then...not blogging. I realize that approximately two people actually give a shit, but I am kind of a big deal in my own mind. Might as well be, since I'm under no illusions about my big dealness outside of my own mind.

Anyway, I have nothing truly interesting to report. I'm learning a new job and helping my elderly great aunt put on a yard sale and playing with the dogs and trying to survive stormpocalypse with the tornadoes and the straight line winds and the baseball sized hail what the hell. Also I turn 29 in a couple weeks and I'm fighting the urge to buy Ben Gay while watching Murder She Wrote and reminiscing about the days when gasoline cost like 5 cents a gallon.

I have learned something in the past month or so though about myself. I thought my only superpowers were the powers of Finding Things and Finding Help in Lowe's and Best Buy. Turns out I have another one. I am...the Anti-Drama. Wherever I work interpersonal drama decreases, uh, dramatically. And when I leave that place, the drama once again rises to its previous levels. I feel I should be able to make money off of this, but no one's buying it yet.

Oh! Yeah! P.S. going back to the hard hat and the boots...I have to wear jeans most of the time now. This pisses me off. I have what is affectionately known as an athletic body. So jeans are always like way enormous in the waist, about right in the ass, and tight in the thighular area. What the fuck? I am truly not curvy at all. I am curvy like stick figures are curvy. So who the hell out there has a waist approximately the same size as their ass and bigger than their hips and thighs? What kind of crack do the people who make jeans smoke?


  1. I care! And definitely noticed!!

  2. Firstly, I kept coming back to your blog and trying to determine if your last post title meant "sayonara" to blogging. And hoping that it did NOT mean that.

    Also, I am with you on the jeans. Good ones are SO hard to find.

  3. I noticed too!

    Also, I love that I can wear jeans to work everyday, but I have the exact same issue when trying to buy them. Always enormous in the waist and teeny tiny in the thighs. Who is built like that?!

  4. I obviously noticed because I started harassing you about it. Because I'm selfish and I missed your blog posts.

  5. Add me to the list of people who gave a crap.

    Also, can you come work at my job? The drama and bitchiness is killing me.