Monday, October 18, 2010

Try not to get any sex on you

I am supposed to tell you the story about the worst guy I ever dated, and I will. As soon as I figure out how to write it so that you can see his awfulness truly, in all its splendor.

Until then, I leave you with some of my husband's words of wisdom from Saturday night. My husband shared this little tidbit with the entire bar:

"Dude. You should never carry cash. You should never touch a one dollar bill. Something like 80% of them have cocaine on them and I'm pretty sure like 100% of them have been in contact with a hooker's asshole. Seriously, when you touch one dollar bills you get drugs and sex on you."

9 comments:

  1. Ha. Glad you ended up with a winner!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I told my son a few months ago that all the $1 bills he got as tips at his restaurant job were probably stuffed in some hooker's naughty parts at some point. He looked at them and was all "Awesome!"

    ReplyDelete
  3. heh, I think 60 Minutes or 48 Hours or one of those other news shows studied this once, but most $20s actually do have trace amounts of cocaine in them. Good times, good times.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Exactly the reason I carry credit cards.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I can only hope I one day marry someone this poetic.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ha! Honestly, I don't mind a little coke residue. But the hooker a-hole stuff I can do without.

    ReplyDelete
  7. In my day, we said that strippers' assholes and cocaine built character.

    ReplyDelete