I am supposed to tell you the story about the worst guy I ever dated, and I will. As soon as I figure out how to write it so that you can see his awfulness truly, in all its splendor.
Until then, I leave you with some of my husband's words of wisdom from Saturday night. My husband shared this little tidbit with the entire bar:
"Dude. You should never carry cash. You should never touch a one dollar bill. Something like 80% of them have cocaine on them and I'm pretty sure like 100% of them have been in contact with a hooker's asshole. Seriously, when you touch one dollar bills you get drugs and sex on you."
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Ha. Glad you ended up with a winner!
ReplyDeleteI told my son a few months ago that all the $1 bills he got as tips at his restaurant job were probably stuffed in some hooker's naughty parts at some point. He looked at them and was all "Awesome!"
ReplyDeleteheh, I think 60 Minutes or 48 Hours or one of those other news shows studied this once, but most $20s actually do have trace amounts of cocaine in them. Good times, good times.
ReplyDeleteExactly the reason I carry credit cards.
ReplyDeleteThere is no truer a statement ever uttered.
ReplyDeleteI can only hope I one day marry someone this poetic.
ReplyDeleteWise. Very wise.
ReplyDeleteHa! Honestly, I don't mind a little coke residue. But the hooker a-hole stuff I can do without.
ReplyDeleteIn my day, we said that strippers' assholes and cocaine built character.
ReplyDelete