Monday, November 22, 2010

Random Things For Which to be Thankful (HA! I managed NOT to end a sentence in a preposition for once in my everloving life! Am Awesome).

Well, I had my car transformed from a 2000 Fiery Death Trap back into a 2000 Volvo: the car that Twilight ruined. So that's good. And it cost about half what the dealership quoted me, and they gave me a loaner car which made me love my OWN car so very much more. It was a giant red 96 Volvo. And when I say red, I mean it was the reddest red to ever red. I generally have no car vanity. I'm not defined by my car, therefore I've never been embarrassed of one before. Other people have been embarrassed of my cars, but I never have been. Until I had to put gas in that red monstrosity. I tried very hard to hide while fueling up that abomination to machinery everywhere. Seriously, I think it should probably be destroyed with fire before it has a chance to propagate more of its kind.

So now that my car is fixed and its Daylight Saving Time, I've started doing my run at the river trail on my lunch break. More specifically, at the Big Dam Bridge (longest pedestrian bridge across a river ever or something that I don't really care about). I like running there at this time of year because I generally have the area to myself. In the spring and summer you have about a million other people, 999,999 of them on bicycles. You may have never noticed this, but cyclists are assholes. There is no need to ride 5 across the path, and yet they continually force me into the weeds and mud because they are assholes in stupid pants. But at this time of year it is just me. And the deer. There were two in the middle of the path today, and I got so close to them I could have pet them if I had not learned my lesson about deer several years ago when I let one into our house (okay, it was a doublewide trailer. Whatever, I let a deer in is the point). Also the Big Dam Bridge gave me the opportunity to have the following conversation:

"So, where do you run?"

"When the day lasts longer, I like to run in my neighborhood. But at this time of year, I usually run at the Big Dam Bridge."

"Why do they call it that? I think that name is just horrible!"

"Because it is big? And it runs across the dam? And it is a bridge?"

"OH! I thought they were calling it the Big DAMN Bridge just to be hicks or something."

"Okay, then!"

Interesting thing about running in my neighborhood is that while I don't really know anyone, I am constantly recognized at the corner store or even while running. Because I am the only person who does it on a regular basis, and I guess I'm memorable. I like the opportunity to have conversations with people I might not normally talk to. I also like to feel like a celebrity. The best way to feel like a celebrity is to be recognized by complete strangers. Speaking of, my corner store is awesome. The people who work there are all competent and they remember customers and generally what we purchase (Before the great fixening of my car: Wow, girl, you sure buy a lot of oil! Yeah, I've gotta get my car fixed. That sucks!)But also if you go after a certain time of night you can meet the crackheads, who all tend to be very interesting and kind people, for some reason. Just, you know, in a crazy cracked out way.

Speaking of crackheads, I am on a definite energy upswing right now which is always awesome. One of the reasons I go on and off medication so often is because I tend to miss the manic energy that comes with being overly anxious. But, I'm having energy upswing without being unmedicated, and that rocks. Yesterday I managed to clean the kitchen, vacuum the floors, sweep, mop, clean the carpet, steam clean the bedspread, repair the rips in the bedspread, wash all the laundry, put the laundry away, make chocolate chip pancakes for dinner, clean even the darkest corners, clean the French door, sweep the back porch, do the dishes, clean the leaves out of the carport, wash the car, and vacuum the car. And then do a hot oil treatment on my hair before watching Boardwalk Empire and Walking Dead. For which I am also grateful, Amen.


  1. I'm going to put "Big Dam/damn" in the middle of everything from now. Going to the "Big Damn Supermarket" now for celery.
    (We're driving a hideous poop-brown loaner at the moment. Excuse me, metallic flake poop brown loaner. Shiny is so much better.

  2. I am thankful for this post. Laughed along the way. :)

  3. Did you say chocolate chip cookies for dinner?

    Why are we not married?

  4. Pancakes. Which is basically a large chocolate chip cookie with butter and syrup. And bacon.

    Probably chocolate chip cookies for dinner would have been better.

    And we aren't married because I live in a conservative state that doesn't believe in allowing two women to get married. Because...uh...God created Adam and Eve and that is somehow a reason that it is wrong for people of the same sex to get married. Whatever. Theology. Or something.

  5. Shiny Volvo of Justice.



    I get embarrassed by cars. Like the time I had to drive the company minivan across town and pulled up next to a hot dude at a stoplight.

    Um, I don't even know what else I was going to say. I love this post. THE END.

    PS - please keep your manic swing going while we switch lives, my apartment is in dire need of cleaning. xoxo.

  6. Dear Ells and Megs - come visit me, you can get married here. I could even officiate, just give me a heads up so I can jump online and get one of those Internet reverend license thingies.

  7. Kelly: OCD! The gift that keeps on giving! Generally very cleanly and in threes! I twitch and obsess so you don't have to! Because the end of the world can be prevented by having extremely clean closets!

    Yep. Mania still there. We're all good. But if it snows there the deal is totally off.

  8. Umm I'm sorry, are you seriously going to try to NOT tell the full story of the time you let a deer into your trailer?

    I must know more.

  9. i wish i was a runner. i've always wished i enjoyed running type activity.

    instead, i just watch tivo'd judge judy.