Tuesday, November 2, 2010

In completely unrelated news

Slightly related to my last post, I realize that I was a little angry and might have sounded a smidgen...bitchier...than intended. I would like to say here and now that the point of the post wasn't actually about her weight, but more about her complaining about something that she does absolutely nothing to change. Just to be clear:

I don't think you're fat. I don't think anything about your weight. You can weigh whatever the hell you want and still be completely sexy (minor anecdote: my cousin, who is like my sister, has struggled her whole life with her weight. She once managed to drop down to a size 8 - the smallest she's ever been- and...she...really didn't look that great. She needs her curves. She's incredibly beautiful and I love her). I don't hate fat people. I don't even think you ARE fat, remember? I apologize if I was not as clear as I should have been.

In completely unrelated news:

It's election day, and I am voting even though I am not convinced it really matters. But I don't want to talk about that. I want to talk about the awesomest campaign commercial of the season.

Basically, it goes like this:

[Imagine you are listening to James Earl Jones, Kevin Spacey, some Shakespearean actor, and that guy who does the movie previews combined. Only...MORE]: Chad Causey is from WASHINGTON D.C. He is NOT FROM HERE. Chad Causey has FRIENDS in WASHINGTON, D.C. (please imagine Washington, D.C. being stated in the same way you might say THE LANDFILL or HELL). Chad Causey's ad people are only separated from Nancy Pelosi by 3 degrees. NANCY PELOSI (I think there might be subliminal text here that I'm missing about Nancy Pelosi being a minion of hell, out to do the work of the evil one - in this instance I believe Barack Obama is playing the part of the evil one). Chad Causey...BARACK O'BAMA (see? Told you). Don't vote for Chad Causey.

And then I die of giggle. I don't know why the ad people don't want me to vote for Causey (liberal cooties, maybe? He has brushed up against Pelosi and O'Bama, and after all, we all know liberalism is contagious. Like communism) but they say his name so many times that it will be the one I recognize on the ballot, even if I don't know anything else about him.

In other unrelated news: someone just brought me a free muffin. It was delicious. It ALMOST was worth getting out of bed this morning for that muffin. Almost.


  1. I hate the political ads. They are the worst thing about elections.

    Why can't we all just make normal, informed decisions based on things like FACTS?

    Today one of our employees has conservative talk radio on (and for the record I hate liberal AND conservative radio zealots because both go way too far) and the guy was saying over and over and over, "If you hate your country, vote Democrat. If you want to have death squads for the elderly, vote Democrat. Ect, ect."

    Those are not sound arguments.

    At all.

    I fucking hate people.

  2. Nothing is worth getting out of bed in the morning. Beds are cozy and awesome and... wait... was it a banana-nut muffin? Because those are effing delish!

  3. I am GLAD elections are OVER and I am still CRANKY about how fucktarded the masses are in my STUPID STATE and I have not written a RANT about it yet because I am still CRANKY and apparently capitalizing CERTAIN WORDS FOR EMPHASIS here in this comment.

    SERIOUSLY, wtf.

    I am quite delighted to hear about your free muffin though. I love muffins and I love free shit. Combine them? Win.

    You know what? I'm going to run for office. On the platform of FREE MUFFINS FOR ALL.

    Socialist muffins.

    WAIT WAIT WAIT, no, I'm going to start a band called "Socialist Muffins."

    I'm going to bed.

  4. I didn't think you were being bitchy. I thought you were justifiably irritated by that coworker. Just for what it's worth.

    And the ads around election time? Are just riDICulous.