Monday, May 17, 2010

Stop Raining on My Parade, Already. I Earned It!


I'm sorry that the recent congratulations directed my way in re: my masters degree is turning you into a complete and utter asshole.

Let's get something straight: its not about you. Its not about being smarter than you. Its not about anything to do with you. Its about me achieving something that I wanted for the purpose of improving my life and being able to do a job I've wanted to do since I was 10 fucking years old. Its about me setting a goal for myself, and fucking well accomplishing it.

So, in answer to your repeated and pointed questions and statements:

1. No, I do not think this makes me smarter than you. I actually do think I'm smarter than you, but it has nothing to do with who has the higher degree. It actually has to do with the fact that I think you are the walking embodiment of Chicken Little. Or maybe its because you can't use the copy machine by yourself and you constantly ask me how to do the simplest tasks in Word or Excel.

2. Good for you that there are guys in the field with masters degrees and you had to train them. But FYI, a masters degree does not actually confer upon a person an instantaneous and omniscent knowledge. Having to train people to do a job they've never done before that you have been doing for 10 years doesn't make you smarter than them.

3. What the fuck is your problem? Is it that the office gave me a very nice gift? Because, while an iPod nano is totally awesome, it doesn't really make up for the fact that I've been here 3 years and never once gotten a raise. Is it the degree itself? I hate to break this to you, but there's no reason you can't have one, too. Seriously. There's no special trick to it, you don't have to be blessed with a rich daddy or a lot of time on your hands. All you have to do it. There's no need to ask my friends if this "suddenly made me smart" and there's no need to take digs at me every time I run into you.

Seriously, what are you like 50 now? Grow the fuck up and try not to be such an asswipe in the future.

Megs (Master of the Fucking Universe, muahaha)

P.S. You might want to consider psychological help. Seriously, it can't be good for you to be this filled with insecurity and resentment when other people accomplish things.


  1. Wow. Whoever this is sounds like a real jerk...

  2. Insecure much? Geez. Tell that guy to shove it. Whoever he is. Oh and congrats on your degree!!

  3. This dude's a douche.

    Congrats, though. As a fellow Master, I can tell you that it's pretty awesome. You're right, we don't have omniscient knowledge or anything like that but we can shoot lasers out of eyes and that's cool.

  4. Ha! He sounds like a total lame ass! And congratulations, you definitely earned it. People like that... you don't even have to rub it in because they're too busy pouring salt in their gaping, self-inflicted wound. ;P

  5. Best line ever: "No, I do not think this makes me smarter than you. I actually do think I'm smarter than you, but it has nothing to do with who has the higher degree."

    YES!!!! I heart you.

  6. Thanks, ya'll are awesome.

    Usually I have pretty thick skin, especially if someone is just talking to talk, you know? But he accidentally pushed exactly the right button that managed to hurt my feelings a little bit. Its bothering me more that I let him get to me, I think.

    Whatever. Pretty much letting it go at this point.

  7. It's official, people are douche canoes.

    Congrats on the masters.

    Ashley, the Accidental Olympian

  8. I will totally punch this guy in the thyroid for you. Give me his address, I'm on it.

  9. People are annoying. And insecure. You're awesome though. Congrats!

  10. Dropkick to the groin? What? People are doucheholes.

    Congratulations, though. I bow down to your awesomeness.