Thursday, June 10, 2010

You're Welcome

Note to self: People who tell you that you don't really need shampoo are full of bologna. Stinky, rotten bologna.

I attempted a little experiment. People have been saying for years that we don't really need to wash our hair as frequently as we do, and that if we would just stop using shampoo eventually our hair would be gorgeous and lovely and wonderful. This does make some sense to me, as women have not always HAD shampoo.

Perhaps I am extremely impatient, but I tried this for one night and its awful. I mean, I've tried before to go longer between washings and never made it past a couple days before my face was breaking out because the oil in my hair was getting on my pillow and rubbing on my face and eew, okay, its just not happening for me. But someone suggested to me that you still need WATER just not shampoo. Also, people have recommended to me that shampooing is bad for curly hair and all you really need to do is condition. It seems like an odd recommendation, because if you are not shampooing you have oil and if you have oil why on God's green earth would you add more oil (artificial flavor!) But what the hell. I'm a scientist.

So last night (since I didn't run yesterday, thus wasn't sweaty, thus wasn't as grossed out by the whole idea) I rinsed my hair very thoroughly with warm water and put only a tiny, tiny dollop of conditioner on the ends and then rinsed again.

I air dried my hair because I always air dry my hair because blow dryers are of the devil as far as my hair is concerned. Seriously, other women use blow dryers and their hair is lovely to behold. I use one ONCE and my hair is a mass of frizz and split ends no matter what kind of product I use. Anyway. My hair looked great. It felt a little...odd...but I figured I'd just keep my hands away from my hair (only makes it oilier, after all, right?) and look like a million dollars. I may also have screeched when my husband tried to touch my hair and he might have been a little grossed out by the texture and also a little frightened because my screech is super horrifying. But it looked great, and that's what is important here, ladies am I right or am I right?

Until this morning. If I wasn't so vain I would have taken a picture to prove to you how bad this was. But I do, in fact, have enough vanity that I do not want you to see it. Or my morning face. My hair still looked okay cleanliness wise. Unfortunately, it also looked as if muskrats had taken up residence in my hair overnight, made muskrat love, and produced other tiny little bundles of muskrat joy. It was the most tangled my hair has ever been, in my life, and I am totally counting that one time I got a round brush stuck in my hair about 1 mm from my scalp. (How did I manage that feat, you might be wondering. And the answer is skillz, baby, SKILLZ). If I were a smart person, I would have just washed it before work. But this is SCIENCE, ya'll, and I am a GIVER. So I sacrificed some more for you, only to be able to tell you that I tried to comb it, pick it, and/or brush it out, but had to give up because all my hairs threatened to fall out or break off in protest of how badly this hurt. It is not good when your hair makes a ripping sound, is what I mean. So I'm wearing it up. It still looks fine, but it feels gross, my scalp is itchy, and frankly I want to whimper a little when I think of trying to wash it tonight.

This is the last time I sacrifice personal hygiene for you people, and I sincerely hope you are grateful.


  1. my sister is one of those crazy wash her hair like twice a week & wear a hat &/or ponytail people. So her oils get all throug her hair. Her hair was always So beautiful & soft & lovely afte she'd wash it & do something with it. While My hair (whish is the same texture etc) was usually dry & breaking from washing my hair every other day. Yes I'd condition & moisturize or whatever. So I finally started having days where I knew I'd be w/o company or reasons to leave my house & I'd go hermit. I would let my hair get oily & gross (while still washing the rest of me of ourse) for 3 or 4 days. Doing that once a month or so is Gross but seriously helps my hair. Crazy right? I haven't in a while but that's because i've had to deal with people, & there is No Way I'll do that when anyone can see me.

  2. I can't go a day without washing my hair. If I do, my hair looks so greasy it looks like I just got out of the shower (irony?) Then I discovered dry shampoo (by Oscar Blandi at Sephora) and it has changed my life. Seriously. It really does look like I washed it. It feels a little more oily but looks fine. And my hair is so much healthier now that I wash it every other day.

  3. I only wash my hair once or twice a week. Sometimes people ask me if I did something different with my hair and the answer is, "I washed it."

    Meh. I don't know. It's more difficult to handle when it is freshly washed. It gets all fuzzy and limp.

  4. I'm wondering if there is some climate related whatever involved here as well? Whenever we have visited some place like CA that's much drier than here I don't have to wash my hair for 2 or 3 days.

    Or maybe not, because I know Tina is in Seattle which is probably about as not dry as it gets.

  5. I have to wash mine every day because it gets so greasy. It's thin and super straight.

    I've heard about this before but I just can't picture myself getting past the greaseball stage. My body generates oil and sweat like whoa.

    I'll have to search for this dry shampoo though and see what that's about.

  6. I hear ya. Mine gets UBER GREASY.

    But even with my daily washing, after I blow dry it, it always looks awesome. So I'ma keep doing what I'm doing.

    Plus I'm one of those incredibly oily people so I just feel disgusting when I don't wash often--showers, hair, anything.

  7. People say this to me all the time! I just think they're lazy. If I don't shower AND shampoo I literally look like I have dreadlock. Greasy, greasy, smelly dreadlocks.

  8. I read someone else that tried this experiment. I'll go a day or two without washing, I meant, like, not at all, I'll shower every other day, assuming a lack of grossness requiring a shower, but I dislike it much and I have a supply of headbands for such occasions. I like shampoo, thanks much.