Wonder Twin Powers Activate

Saturday I spent 18 years at Lowe's (and by the way, thanks to Amber at nostomanic for the excellent instructions on how to build a flux capacitor...totally saved my life).

In my house, we are each expected to use our superpowers for the good of the entire household. My superpower is the amazing and astounding ability to always, but always, find a helpful and knowledgeable sales associate within 5 minutes of entering any retail establishment. This...is actually a pretty awesome superpower. This also means that I am generally the one elected to do shopping. With great power comes great responsibility, I guess, and also I need something sucky to balance out the power, so that I do not become power mad and take over the world one helpful sales person at a time. (Interestingly, my husband's superpower is the ability to get rid of door to door sales people, which I can never do. They always ask to speak to my husband, which pisses me off, but does it make them leave when I get mad? It does not. Except that one guy who actually asked to speak to my parents. He was really embarrassed).

Aside: My husband needed some line for the weedeater. I know nothing of the weedeater. So I find the associate, of course, and get him on the phone with my husband. They had to bond, so this took like 11 of the 18 years I was there. By the way, his name was Jeff and there was lots of "Dude" and "Man" and technical mumbo jumbo about various different kinds of weedeaters that are not our weedeater. Also, I was on a quest for either a lilac or an old fashioned rose for my mother in law, and in case you couldn't tell from the weedeater debacle I am not exactly knowledgeable about stuff for the garden so it took another 7 years and I still got the wrong thing. Anyway, lots of time to think, is what I'm saying.

So I'm thinking about how I can always find a sales person, even when I don't want one. And how this is especially easy for me in Lowe's. I cannot walk down the aisles without tripping over at least 3 of them, whether I need them or not. I am beginning to suspect that its not really a superpower so much as it is people feeling that I need to be rescued. Clearly, my ovaries mean I have no idea what I'm doing at any given time and can't possibly be expected to know what I need and find it. Its especially true in Lowe's. I am a girl, therefore I know nothing about hardware stuff. My husband can NEVER find anyone to help him, but most especially at hardware stores and the like. Because testosterone comes pre-packaged with knowledge of power tools and how to fix things.

Its very disappointing and life altering to realize what you thought was a superpower was really just sexism.