Monday, February 14, 2011

I am Dead Serious. Kroger is Awesome on Valentine's Day

Image courtesy of

Valentine's Day seems to be a require blog topic, so I'll tell you about mine.

Basically, my husband and I shared the most ridiculous, pun filled cards we could find (because that's the best part!) then we split a carton of chocolate covered fortune cookies while rolling our eyes at the fortunes (Never frown because you don't know who might be falling in love with your smile! Someone will love you for your constant support!)Because he's a man and I have the soul of a 13 year old boy.

(Seriously: someone will love you for your constant support. I'm immediately put in mind of serial killers and the women who love them. Also, jock straps, support hose, and really good bras. He's thinking of deadbeat dads with 13 kids by 18 women.)

Then we made VD jokes, and then I went to the grocery store. Where two cashiers almost threw down in front of the 5 customers in the store. I have no idea why. All I know is, one of them must have been pretty condescending to the other. Because she kept screaming, "Do not talk to me like I'm a child! I am NOT a child!"

No, ma'am, you most certainly are not.

I am totally calling this day a success.


  1. You win for best VDay! I love altercations in stores. So awkward and entertaining for all!!

  2. This is super cute! Love love love!

    My favorite line was this: "He's thinking of deadbeat dads with 13 kids by 18 women."

    Probably because it made me giggle. But also because I DVRed the People's Court (what?) and there was a guy on there who had LITERALLY 15 children. By 7 different women.

  3. Thank you! What is with people abbreviating Valentines Day to VD on bookface and not realizing they're telling people to have a happy venereal disease???

    I hate how bookface makes it way too obvious how illiterate some of my acquaintances are. I'd rather not know.

  4. Aw, sounds like an awesome Valentine's Day! Not too over the top, not too underwhelming, just right. And I like fortune cookies for the stupid fortunes, but the cookies themselves are kinda gross, IMO. Anyway, glad you enjoyed the day - grocery store fight and all!