Friday, February 11, 2011

I have had way too much time on my hands.

I've been snowed in and haven't been inspired to write anything here. But I just really need to say something, and this seems like the best forum.

Playtex Sport Tampons suck.

1. Does not do what it says on the tin. I ran, I biked, I did yoga. These were not any better than my preferred brand. In fact, these were worse. Do not be sucked in by the hype.

2. They are trying to boss me around. There are weird "inspirational" messages written on the wrappers. Things like "Walk like you mean it". I do not know what that even means. How do you walk like you don't mean it?

3. I am perplexed by how many ways there seem to be to engineer a piece of cotton to make it pretty much exactly the same. Advances HAVE been made in applicator technology, but the newest trend seems to be aimed at improving the tampon itself. Aside from obvious changes like making it smaller or bigger or thinner or fatter I haven't noticed any real success. Also what are these laboratories like?

I have spent 3 days contemplating this.

Please send help.


  1. And they have creepy advertisements on the wall of the ladies room in our city's national hockey league team. Like real creepy.

  2. I know someone who did "product design" for Tampax. He was a 23-year-old man. Whose job was to come up with tampon designs. I feel like this explains A LOT.

  3. I'm on team OB FOR LIFE!

    Seriously. Hate hate hate all other 'pons.

  4. Shanner: I can only imagine. Some of the messages on the wrappers are disturbing. I don't even want to know what they would put on a wall. "Neither one of us is giver uppers" freaks me out a lot. A. I don't want it to talk to me like we're having a conversation. B. How would it know that about me? Playtex is hiding in my bushes.

    Sada: That does answer a lot of questions.

    Ells: It is marginally better than the homicide inducing "Have a Happy Period" that Always offered to the women of the world. But not much.

  5. I'm not sure I really want to be "inspired" by my tampons. Just do your job and I'll be a happy camper.

  6. i try to avoid physical activity as much as possible, so i have no need for the sport variety.

    if they made one called Tampax Lazy Sleeper, i would buy it.