Friday, September 23, 2011

Dun Dun Dun!!!! Part Deux

My calculations reveal that I was either 10 or 12 when I wrote this. It seems a little complex for 10 year old me, but a little...not good for 12 year old me, so I'm going with 10. All spelling and punctuation is preserved. Current commentary in parantheses. Blah blah blah. P.S. Apparently this was like my opus, my epic, my master work. It is somewhat long. Is what I mean. There will be several parts.

Part the Second:

Ten minutes later there came the sound of a siren. "Hello, there, I'm Sergeant Joe Brady." said the officer at the door. (Why is he a sergeant? Because why not, that's why).

"Hello" came a chorus of nervous voices.

"I'd like to get to know all of you before we begin this investigation. Names, please. Start with you." (I watched a lot of Hunter and Dragnet at this time. You'd think I would have had a better idea of how fictional police investigations work, but I guess...not.)


(I'm sort of impressed this is the correct number of names. I had a short attention span, and I'm surprised I didn't forget there were 2 girls, 2 boys, and 1 father. Also a little impressed that I wasn't overdosing on the dialogue tags. Look, I have to find something good in this okay? That's what I found. Shut up.)

"Alright. Now I'm going to ask you some questions. Starting with, uh, Royal, isn't it?" (Joe Brady thinks Royal is a really lame name for a prince, too!)


"Alright. The coroner (!!!) has estimated the time of death as 9:00 p.m. Where were you?"


"Any witnesses?"

"Well, I think just about everyone heard me yell down, but no one actually SAW me."

"Alright. Uh," Checking the notepad on which he had been writing. "Kathryn?"

"Yes" came the smooth reply (firstly, drink every time the cop says alright. Secondly, smooth reply is the name of my pretend jazz band)

"Where were you?" (Because she didn't see this question coming)

"I was upstairs with Julietta. She hates storms, you know. (He does?) We were upstairs in her bedroom."

"Alright. (Drink!)Julietta, your sister says you are afraid of storms. Is this information correct?" (Because this is relevant. Very, very relevant).

"Yes, sir. I am afraid of storms. And yes sir, we were together, " answered a very nervous Julietta. (I think I am trying to throw in some red herrings, y'all. Very very red herrings.)

"And you, Andrew?"

"I was in the kitchen with Father."

"Victor, is this true?"

"Yes, Sergeant, it is," came the reply.

"Alright (drunk yet?) I'll need to inspect the castle." (They are royalty, remember, even if Joe Friday here is treating them like regular folk).

"Of course," said Victor. "We do want to get this solved as quickly as possible."

"You'll forgive me for saying so, but none of you seems to (sic) upset about this, "said Joe. (Sergeant was getting boring to write out).

"Well, Sergeant, my wife, uh, Venetia, was not a very shall we say, loving, woman. She didn't want children, and yet as she would say, she got stuck with them. Doesn't seem very fair does it?" said Victor drily. (???)

"Fair?" asked Sergeant Brady. "What do you mean fair?" (Exactly my question!)

"Well, some children spend their entire lives trying to have children, adopt children or what have you, and here a woman who didn't even want them got FOUR. She was so busy not wanting them that she failed to see how wonderful they really are." (said their deadbeat father...also, can you tell from this that I was adopted?)

By this time Kathryn and Julietta had tears streaming down their cheeks and Royal and Andrew had their heads bowed.

"I see," Brady said quietly. "Well, we'll try to wrap this up quickly."

"Thank you, sir, my family and I would appreciate it." King Victor stated with great dignity. this woman must have been awful to live with every day, Joe Brady thought. The old man seems sincere and all these kids! They don't look like they could be murderers. Of course, looks can be deceiving Joe thought. All of a sudden a gun shot sounded. Julietta Pauline Winthrop fell to the floor dead.

"No!" screamed Lady Kathryn. She fell to the floor, grabbed her sister, and held her.

"She's gone, Kathryn" Royal whispered. "Get up, please don't make it any harder on any one else." (What. The. Fuck. Was wrong with me?)

Kathryn got up but she was still crying. The coroner and a large burly police officer came in and carried the body out. Andrew was trying to calm her. Then a man with a gun stepped out of the shadows. "Hello, Victor." he said.

"Chorkhoff!" gasped Victor.

"Yes, it's me," Chorkhoff said calmly.


P.S I cannot comment on my own posts, apparently, but I just read through the last of this story...I was not right in the head, y'all. This shit gets weird. Er. Part 3 should be fun.

1 comment:

  1. omg, what? i just... what? *RANDOM GUNSHOT DEATH* Omg. I cannot wait until Part 3.