Monday, September 26, 2011

I like to have my most asinine moments recorded for posterity. Because I live to amuse. Or something.

I just needed to say this somewhere, and I'm really not up to the Facebook responses from people I don't know. But anyway, my husband signed me up for some life insurance (note to self: sleep with one eye open) and I just did the interview which is supposed to take 10 minutes and for some reason took me an hour and ten minutes. Because I'm special, obviously. Or maybe because I had to be revived after having a conversation over the phone with a perfect stranger about what I weigh (not telling- but I will tell you that I lied my ass off while my husband rolled his eyes at me. Look if it was a guy on the other end of the phone I probably wouldn't give a shit, but the girl sounded young and cute and I just couldn't tell her the truth. Don't you judge me), if I've put on more than 10 pounds in the last year (I have, then I lost it, then I put 15 back on), and why. What the hell do you mean WHY?

So I said, "General laziness I guess?"

While my husband's eyes rolled back in his head and he was like, "You run like every day. It's not laziness."

"Well, what do you think it is then?"

"You eat more."

And she wrote all of this DOWN.



  1. oh my. i would have lied my butt off too. or worse...i may have told the girl off. especially if she sounded cute on the phone.

  2. Oh. Um. Yeah. One time I was getting my drivers license renewed and the lady was like "is this weight still correct" and I was all, "umm.. YES. YES IT IS." Spoiler alert: it totally wasn't.

  3. My boyfriend has been skinny his whole life (I have the opposite problem) and he's put on some weight in the last year. He recently told me he stepped on the scale and did not like what he saw. And then he wouldn't tell me his weight. Now, I have never told him MY weight (I'm afraid I weigh more than he does despite how tall he is) but there's something SO adorable about the fact that he won't tell!

    However. Food is good.