Thursday, September 29, 2011

Exciting! Conclusion!!!

*standard disclaimer, blah blah blah*

"I haff not forgot how you ruin my life! I am here to ruin yours!" (1. I don't know where dude is supposed to be from, but whatever. 2. I'm not sure how killing his bitch of a wife was ruining...anything, really, except maybe her hairdo?)

"What do you mean?" asked Victor. (Super smart, this one, no?)

Everyone could tell he was frightened. (How SHAMEFUL. A man with a gun just magically appeared in his, and he is FRIGHTENED. What a pussy.)

"I am going to kill your family one by one and I'm going to make you vatch them die! Then I vill kill you!" (I was just your average little girl with pigtails and a horrible blood lust. What?)

Chorkhoff raised the gun and aimed it at Kathryn.

"Ahhhhh!" Screamed Kathryn (as one does).

Joe stepped forward, knocked the gun out of Chorkhoff's hand and kicked it across the room. Royal bent, picked it up, and aimed it at Chorkoff's head. (As you do). With hatred in his voice he said, "You killed my mother and my sister. I should kill you, Pig!" (Dude. You hated your mother. Also, didn't I start this by saying all of these people hated it each other?). Victor then stepped forward and addressed Royal. "If you kill him, you go to jail (there is a cop in the room, after all, and a lot of other cops apparently milling around...speaking did dude get in here again? The world may never know, because I don't think I thought it was important...) We don't want that."

Royal dropped the gun. As Joe Brady's second in command walked Chorkhoff Garvenski out, Garvenski turned and screamed, "You took everything from me! My home, my family, my friends! I should haff killed you vhen I had the chance!" (And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling kids! Oh, sorry, that's something else, isn't it?)

(Apparently I wrote two endings to this? Here is the one I scratched out:) Today, Chorkhoff is still in jail. Victor remarried and now has the happiness he deserved. Royal ended up a missionary and he even converted Chorkhoff (cough Baptistschool cough), a man he once hated. Andrew is studying to be a CPA. Kathryn got over Julietta's death (uh. huh.) and became a teacher at an elementary school. To this day, they are all happy. (I think that I rejected this ending because do you know what it is missing? BLOOD. BLOOD and DEATH. And a twist.)

(Ending I felt happy with, I guess): As Brady's men led Chorkhoff away, Joe spoke up. "Victor, I hate to be a bother (???), but I have to know, how did you ruin Cherkhoff's life?"

"Sit down, Joe (now he's Joe, not Sergeant, apparently). It's a long story." Then Victor began the story of how he and Chorkhoff had once been best friends. Then Venetia had come along. "We were both crazy about her. She chose me over Chorkhoff, though I'll never understand why. Chorkhoff became angry. He spit on me and declared that one day he would kill me (would have made more sense to do it a little earlier, I would think, but okay?)" At this point there was a gasp and Royal fell to the ground. He had been shot through the heart (and you're to blame, Darlin', you give love, a you weren't thinking it). Everyone went pale as they realized what was going on. A murdered was still loosein the castle. They were being hunted. Shot down one by one until at last there was no one else. "Oh!" wailed Kathryn (wait. I thought there was no one else?) "This is awful! We're like those wooden animals in a carnival shooting gallery!"

"It'll be alright. We'll get this guy," Joe said comfortingly. (Dude. 3 dead people. THREE. And you have BEEN THERE THE WHOLE TIME. I do not think you are going to get this guy.)

Another shot rang out. (SEE?!?! PS when Royal was shot, no noise. now shots are ringing out?)

"Uh," moaned Victor. He had been hit in the shoulder. "Andrew! My son!"

They all looked to see Andrew holding a pistol. (Dude. DUDE. Why did you wait for the cops to show up to start on the killin'? Or why not wait till they left? WTF?)

"That's right, FATHER," he said sarcastically.

"But, why?" Victor asked. It was getting harder to breathe, and black spots were appearing his eyes. (He keeps his lungs in his shoulder, y'all!)But he had to know. Had to know why his own flesh and blood would want to kill him.

"Because. You all considered me a weakling. But I'm not weak anymore. I'm more powerful than all of you. You thought I didn't have the desire to be strong. You were wrong! I'm stronger than all of you put together!" All during this speech his voice had risen so he was shouting. When he had finished he spat at his father (people like to spit on Victor).

"How?" Joe asked.

"What?!" Andrew roared.

"How did you do it," Joe repeated.

"Mother was the easiest. Everyone was upstairs and she was so caught up in her thoughts she wouldn't hav enoticed me if I was standing in front of her. I merely hit her with the gun. Royal was easy because all I had to do was reach behind him and stick the gun in his back at the place where his heart would be and pull the trigger. Julietta was not so easy. She was across the room from me. I had to shhot her without being seen. In a way, it was fun (I...I may not have been right in the head, y'all). Having all that power, taking those chances. Now it's time to kill the rest of you off."

Joe jumped Andrew from behind (he's like a ninja, that one), wrestling him to the ground and throwing the gun across the room. Kathryn snatched it up and threw it out the window. Joe snapped some handcuffs on Andrew and walked him out as Kathryn quickly called 911 for Victor (aren't they...already there?). Victor got out of the hospital the next day (...). Joe helped Kathryn through 3 years of therapy (someone should probably have helped young Megs through a few years of therapy. also? weirdly specific, considering you have no idea what these people look like, what their castle looks like, where anyone is in relation to anything, or even how freaking old these people are.) They are now married (how old were these "kids" supposed to have been???) and have blessed Victor with 7 healthy, rambunctsious grand children.


Y'all. Y'ALL. I was not right in the head.

1 comment:

  1. Um. Wow. Just... wow. Megs. I don't even. This was amazing.