Monday, July 19, 2010

PSA

Just a little tip: After a large strawberry daiquiri and a Sam Adams, Jaws 3-D will seem like an awesome idea. But it is not. Jaws 3-D is never a good idea.

You might think that a shark popping out of the screen in 3-D will look really cool. No. The only thing that is actually 3-D is a yellow submarine. Then you will start singing "We all live in a yellow submarine" and you won't be able to stop and your friends will decide they hate you. And you can't really blame them because at that moment, you kind of hate yourself.

You might think, "Well at least this was when Dennis Quaid was hot." Unfortunately, Dennis Quaid was never hot enough to make this movie worth watching.

Also, you won't realize until later, but you basically just spent all night looking like Groucho Marx, and your husband will have totally posted the picture on Facebook. Which, why did you think he was taking that picture with his iPhone, moron?


In conclusion, say no to Jaws 3-D. Its not worth the emotional trauma of alienating your friends, never being able to think of Dennis Quaid in a sexy way again, and public embarrassment via Facebook. Also you will never get the line "Overman was killed inside the park. The baby was found inside the park. The mother is inside the park." out of your head.

8 comments:

  1. Those glasses are HAWT. I need some of those.

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  2. Yeah, I agree with Lilly. It's a good thing hubby has it on lock down! ;)

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  3. I hate 3-D glasses... mostly because I wear normal glasses and have to put the 3-D ones over them, which really makes me look like a dork. I think they should come up with prescription 3-D glasses so people like me won't feel retarded at those movies...

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  4. Lilly: Yes, I know. Unbearably sexy.

    Steve: Try to contain yourself. I know its difficult (I almost said hard, which opens up the whole thats what she said factor, and frankly, I can't go there after you've seen exactly how hot I truly am. Nothing can contain it.)

    Raiza: I know. I think that's part of why those are so, ahem, attractive. I'm wearing them over my normal glasses. They were crooked half the night, with one of my friends helpfully suggesting I wear them behind my regular glasses. That...did not help, surprisingly.

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  5. Yeah, on the contrary, I think being able to wear those glasses is the only reason I'd go see it.

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  6. Jaws 3 was my favorite movie for years. Yes. I was a strange child.

    I can't watch any movie in 3D though.
    Makes me nauseous.

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  7. I kind of want to see this. I've never seen a single Jaws movie in its entirety, but maybe I'll just get regular Jaws on DVD...I hate 3D movies b/c I wear glasses and it's a pill to put the paper ones on over my real ones.

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