Wednesday, February 17, 2010

It Makes No Sense...I Quit

Cigarettes are not wrapped in paper. They are wrapped in black magic. That's the only explanation.

If I'm tired, I smoke a cigarette to wake up.
If I'm amped up, I smoke a cigarette to calm down.

I smoke a cigarette to stave off hunger pangs.
I smoke a cigarette right after eating, because I'm "too full."

I am a rational, educated intelligent human being. I am fully aware of the risks of cancer, aneurism, arteriosclerosis, emphysema, bad breath, and any number of other health risks.

I feel that I "need" a cigarette, when I can offer no rational explanation for why I "need" to pay thousands of dollars to dump poisons into my body.

I smoke to help me concentrate, but I know that smoking pumps carbon monoxide into my body and actually makes it harder to concentrate.

I say that I smoke because I'm bored, but there is absolutely nothing fascinating about smoking, except maybe for the fact that I still do it and couldn't tell you why for any amount of money.

I say that I smoke because its something to do with my hands. I never needed anything to do with my hands before I started smoking.

So. I am quitting smoking as of February 19, 2002. It might get a little...depressing...around here about that time. But screw it.

I quit.

ETA: I am actually not going back into the past to quit smoking. I'm going to quit smoking in 2010. Although it would rock really hard if I COULD go back into the past to quit...maybe I'll build a time machine. That should keep me from being bored, and give me something to do with my hands. Anybody know where I can get my hands on a DeLorean?

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