Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Pigs EATING HAM. Its just wrong.

Some commercials piss me off to an unreasonable degree.

Have you seen the one for Burger King? The one where some random chick is sleeping and they sneak into her bedroom to prank her? The girl wakes up covered in an unknown sticky, creamy substance with a man in the creepiest mask known to humanity standing over her in the dark. Apparently, making a woman wonder if she's just been sexually assaulted is supposed to make me want a Whopper. Because nothing goes with random acts of perversion like flame broiled beef! If I ever actually ate anything at Burger King, I would totally stop eating there. In fact, it sort of makes me want to be a vegetarian for some reason.

There's one for ProActiv that makes me want to commit random acts of violence. The girl talks about how the breakout of pimples on her face takes the joy out of her life. Really. I mean, REALLY?! Am I supposed to be taking my face that seriously? Because honestly? I don't even remember the last time I LOOKED AT my face, let alone how much breakout was on my face (I know its there, I just don't feel the need to study the EXTENT of it. Because...seriously, do people care that much?) Maybe my face has been totally ruining my life for years now, and I didn't even know it. How much more joyful would my wedding or completing my master's degree have been if it weren't for my face? Damn you, Face.

The one of the frakkin' dirty pigs eating HAM in a restaurant makes me nearly incoherent with rage. I don't even know WHAT they are trying to sell me. I just know PIGS ...blerg, rarrr, argghhh DIRTY mother-, HAM rawr growl ASSHOLES.

These particular commercials make me so angry my husband will automatically change the channel. I know that means he just wants me to rant about them and scream at the t.v. and maybe scare the dogs a little again, because that never gets old. I'm pretty sure its his very favorite thing because he likes how my voice sounds just like Minnie Mouse on helium when I'm angry. And I think we can all agree that that is very, very sexy.

I don't know if the irrational anger means I need some kind of outlet for pent up rage or if maybe I just watch way too much t.v. Probably that second one.

But seriously. The DIRTY PIGS are eating HAM.



  1. I hate all Burger King commercials. All of them. Have you ever seen Whopper virgins or the Whopper freakout? In every single BK spot, the customer is the butt of the joke. How is that funny? Such an elitist male perspective.

    I hear you!!

  2. The ham one pisses me off too. I think it's because I'm a vegetarian and I hate when commercials make it seem like the animals enjoy it. "Mmm, eat me! I taste so good!!" Assholes.