Don't be fooled. She's totally an asshole.
Pure, unadulterated evil.
2. The couch in the above pictures is a black leather couch my husband bought when he was a bachelor. I may or may not have purposely done things to that couch so we could get a new one that didn't look like something Patrick Bateman might have sat on while listening to Huey Lewis and the News.
3. I am anti-knick knack. I need things to be clean and nobody ever tells you but you ALSO HAVE TO CLEAN THE KNICK KNACKS.
4. I once downed a glass of moonshine on a dare. I did not even make a face, according to my husband. I suspect this is why he married me. I do not remember anything that happened that night, after the moonshine. That stuff is STRONG.
5. When I worked in the children's library in high school, I was propositioned for a 3-way by a couple with 2 beer guts, 8 teeth, and 700 pounds between them.
And the WINNERS ARE:
1. Maria, at No One Reads the Copy, because she is funny, introspective, and refreshingly honest about everything.
2. Vic, at What Were You Thinking, because she's hilarious and I kind of want to be her when I grow up.
3. Steelxmagnolia at When Life Hands You Lemons, Add Vodka because that is awesome advice and she is an amazing writer.
4. Kelly, at Insert Clever Title Here, because she tells awesome stories about ex-boyfriends that make me feel better about my own exes, and because she manages to make it funny, even though it might have been painful at the time.
5. Stephanie, at Yada Yada Yada, because she still giggles when she sees the number 69 (and if you don't I might not want to know you) and because she has excellent taste in men.
Please proceed to steal your very important awards from the sidebar, and make sure there is plenty of glue in the house.
Wheee! Thanks! I don't remember telling any funny ex-boyfriend stories but maybe I was drunk at the time. I don't know. I wouldn't rule it out. One time I wrote an entire blog post and was all "Hey it's 3am and I'm intoxicated and I'm blogging yayyyyy" and it was really actually kind of long and coherent, except the next day I went to go write a REAL post and I ended up saying a lot of the same things because I totally didn't remember what I put in the other drunky post and so I had to then edit a lot otherwise I was going to sound like a repetitive moron who writes drunk blogs and doesn't remember what she already said.
ReplyDeleteDon't judge me.
Also, I forgot where I was going with this.
Ah, yes. I need to go write my acceptance speech now. Toodles.
PS, you should put some linky links up so I can go visit these other blogs too. Pretty please.
ReplyDeleteThanks Megs! I'll have to check out the other ladies you've honored, aside from Miss Kelly, whom I already adore. :)
ReplyDeleteI think you're hilarious too - it's like we belong to the same club. (so thanks!!)
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree - links please! :)
I love squinty dog! I try to catch my dogs in photos mid-yawn and squinty.
ReplyDeleteAlso, how'd the three-way turn out? Was it sexy?? REOW!!
I can only imagine that it would have been exactly like porn only better. Alas, I was 16 and turned them down because I'm nice and no one should get in trouble for statutory rape if they don't have to.
ReplyDeleteUmmm. That is not exactly what I meant.
Speaking of weather related stripper names, I was once a Jenny Jones Show audience member and two of the guests...who were fighting over some ugly dumb guy, naturally...were named Misty and Stormy. Don't know if they were strippers but they were definitely dogs.
ReplyDeleteYour dogs are freaking cute.
"and the other one seems to be composed mostly of assholes and the stuff they won't put in hotdogs."
hilarious.
I totally agree on the anti-knick knack things! In addition, I am anti MOST collectables...they too require dusting that I am not willing to perform!
ReplyDelete