Compelled

I know that if all my towels match perfectly, then everything in my life will be perfect.
I know that if all of my dishes match perfectly and are stored exactly right, and I have everything stored neatly in plastic containers with pretty labels, that if my clothes are exactly right and my hair is perfect then my life will be perfect, and will look like a life straight out of Martha Stewart Living or Real Simple.

Unfortunately, my towels don't match (I'm lucky if they don't have holes in them), my dishes don't match, my clothes don't say about me what Stacy and Clinton say my clothes should say about me (I fail at external personality application! FAIL!), and my hair is seriously a mess (I haven't caught the small woodland creatures that clearly nest in it yet, but I WILL. Oh, but I will. God help them when I do).

But I have a mountain of debt from attempting to achieve this perfect life that I know can be mine for the bargain price of 19.99 per item.